in a traditional essay the thesis statement usually appears

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Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements

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Tips for Writing Your Thesis Statement

1. Determine what kind of paper you are writing:

• An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
• An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.
• An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.

If you are writing a text that does not fall under these three categories (e.g., a narrative), a thesis statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader.

2. Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and should be supported with specific evidence.

3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.

4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect exactly what you have discussed in the paper.

Thesis Statement Examples

Example of an analytical thesis statement:

The paper that follows should:

• Explain the analysis of the college admission process
• Explain the challenge facing admissions counselors

Example of an expository (explanatory) thesis statement:

• Explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with peers

Example of an argumentative thesis statement:

• Present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue community projects before entering college

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II. Getting Started

2.5 Writing Thesis Statements

Kathryn Crowther; Lauren Curtright; Nancy Gilbert; Barbara Hall; Tracienne Ravita; and Kirk Swenson

To be effective, all support in an essay must work together to convey a central point; otherwise, an essay can fall into the trap of being out of order and confusing. Just as a topic sentence focuses and unifies a single paragraph, the thesis statement focuses and unifies an entire essay. This statement is like a signpost that signals the essay’s destination; it tells the reader the point you want to make in your essay, while the essay itself supports that point.

Because writing is not a linear process, you may find that the best thesis statement develops near the end of your first draft. However, creating a draft or working thesis early in the writing project helps give the drafting process clear direction. You should form your thesis before you begin to organize an essay, but you may find that it needs revision as the essay develops.

A thesis is not just a topic, but rather the writer’s comment or interpretation of the question or subject. For whatever topic you select (for example, school uniforms, social networking), you must ask yourself, “What do I want to say about it?” Asking and then answering this question is vital to forming a thesis that is precise, forceful, and confident.

In the majority of essays, a thesis is one sentence long and appears toward the end of the introductory paragraph. It is specific and focuses on one to three points of a single idea—points that are able to be demonstrated in the body paragraphs. It forecasts the content of the essay and suggests how you will organize your information. Remember that a thesis statement does not summarize an issue but rather dissects it.

Working Thesis Statements

A strong thesis statement must have the following qualities:

• It must be arguable.  A thesis statement must state a point of view or judgment about a topic. An established fact is not considered arguable.
• It must be supportable.  The thesis statement must contain a point of view that can be supported with evidence (reasons, facts, examples).
• It must be specific. A thesis statement must be precise enough to allow for a coherent argument and remain focused on the topic.

Examples of Appropriate Thesis Statements

• Closing all American borders for a period of five years is one solution that will tackle illegal immigration.
• Compared to an absolute divorce, no-fault divorce is less expensive, promotes fairer settlements, and reflects a more realistic view of the causes for marital breakdown.
• Exposing children from an early age to the dangers of drug abuse is a sure method of preventing future drug addicts.
• In today’s crumbling job market, a high school diploma is not significant enough education to land a stable, lucrative job.
• The societal and personal struggles of Troy Maxson in the play Fences symbolize the challenges of black males who lived through segregation and integration in the United States.

Pitfalls to Avoid

A thesis is weak when it is simply a declaration of your subject or a description of what you will discuss in your essay.

Weak Thesis Statement Example

My paper will explain why imagination is more important than knowledge.

A thesis is weak when it makes an unreasonable or outrageous claim or insults the opposing side.

Religious radicals across America are trying to legislate their Puritanical beliefs by banning required high school books.

A thesis is weak when it contains an obvious fact or something that no one can disagree with or provides a dead end.

Advertising companies use sex to sell their products.

A thesis is weak when the statement is too broad.

The life of Abraham Lincoln was long and challenging.

Ways to Revise Your Thesis

Your thesis statement begins as a working thesis statement, an indefinite statement that you make about your topic early in the writing process for the purpose of planning and guiding your writing. Working thesis statements often become stronger as you gather information and develop new ideas and reasons for those ideas. Revision helps you strengthen your thesis so that it matches what you have expressed in the body of the paper.

You can cut down on irrelevant aspects and revise your thesis by taking the following steps:

• Pinpoint and replace all non specific words, such as people, everything, society, or life, with more precise words in order to reduce any vagueness.

Pinpoint and Replace Example

Working thesis:  Young people have to work hard to succeed in life.

Revised thesis:  Recent college graduates must have discipline and persistence in order to find and maintain a stable job in which they can use, and be appreciated for, their talents.

Explanation:  The original includes too broad a range of people and does not define exactly what success entails. By replacing those general words like people and work hard , the writer can better focus their research and gain more direction in their writing. The revised thesis makes a more specific statement about success and what it means to work hard.

• Clarify ideas that need explanation by asking yourself questions that narrow your thesis.

Clarify Example

Working thesis:  The welfare system is a joke.

Revised thesis:  The welfare system keeps a socioeconomic class from gaining employment by alluring members of that class with unearned income, instead of programs to improve their education and skill sets.

Explanation:  A joke means many things to many people. Readers bring all sorts of backgrounds and perspectives to the reading process and would need clarification for a word so vague. This expression may also be too informal for the selected audience. By asking questions, the writer can devise a more precise and appropriate explanation for joke and more accurately defines their stance, which will better guide the writing of the essay.

• Replace any linking verbs with action verbs. Linking verbs are forms of the verb to be , a verb that simply states that a situation exists.

Replace with Action Verbs Example

Working thesis:  Kansas City school teachers are not paid enough.

Revised thesis:  The Kansas City legislature cannot afford to pay its educators, resulting in job cuts and resignations in a district that sorely needs highly qualified and dedicated teachers.

Explanation:  The linking verb in this working thesis statement is the word are . Linking verbs often make thesis statements weak because they do not express action. Rather, they connect words and phrases to the second half of the sentence. Readers might wonder, “Why are they not paid enough?” But this statement does not compel them to ask many more questions.

• Who is not paying the teachers enough?
• How much is considered “enough”?
• What is the problem?
• What are the results?
• Omit any general claims that are hard to support.

Omit General Claims Example

Working thesis:  Today’s teenage girls are too sexualized.

Revised thesis: Teenage girls who are captivated by the sexual images on the internet and social media are conditioned to believe that a woman’s worth depends on her sensuality, a feeling that harms their self-esteem and behavior.

Explanation:  It is true that some young women in today’s society are more sexualized than in the past, but that is not true for all girls. Many girls have strict parents, dress appropriately, and do not engage in sexual activity while in middle school and high school. The writer of this thesis should ask the following questions:

• Which teenage girls?
• What constitutes “too” sexualized?
• Why are they behaving that way?
• Where does this behavior show up?
• What are the repercussions?

This section contains material from:

Crowther, Kathryn, Lauren Curtright, Nancy Gilbert, Barbara Hall, Tracienne Ravita, and Kirk Swenson. Successful College Composition . 2nd ed. Book 8. Georgia: English Open Textbooks, 2016. http://oer.galileo.usg.edu/english-textbooks/8 . Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License .

Relating to lines; a way of explaining information logically and/or sequentially; can refer to the chronological relaying of information.

A brief and concise statement or series of statements that outlines the main point(s) of a longer work. To summarize is to create a brief and concise statement or series of statements that outlines the main point(s) of a longer work.

To analyze closely or minutely; to scrutinize every aspect. Unlike the fields of biology, anatomy, or medicine, in rhetoric and writing, dissect does not refer to the cutting apart of a physical body but to the taking apart the body of an argument or idea piece by piece to understand it better.

A logical, rational, lucid, or understandable expression of an idea, concept, or notion; consistent and harmonious explanation.

Assertion or announcement of belief, understanding, or knowledge; a formal statement or proclamation.

Without a defined number or limit; unlimited, infinite, or undetermined.

An altered version of  a written work. Revising means to rewrite in order to improve and make corrections. Unlike editing, which involves minor changes, revisions include major and noticeable changes to a written work.

Not relevant; unimportant; beside the point; not relating to the matter at hand.

Attractive, tempting, or seductive; to have an appealing and charismatic quality.

To influence or convince; to produce a certain or specific result through the use of force.

2.5 Writing Thesis Statements Copyright © 2022 by Kathryn Crowther; Lauren Curtright; Nancy Gilbert; Barbara Hall; Tracienne Ravita; and Kirk Swenson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Thesis Statement

What is a thesis statement.

A thesis statement is a complete sentence that expresses the main point of an essay. It should be specific. The thesis statement identifies the topic and reflects the writer's purpose, attitude or opinion. A thesis statement also provides a preview of how the writer will arrange the ideas in the essay. The thesis usually appears as the last sentence in your introductory paragraph.

Purposes of a Thesis Statement Can Be:

• To illustrate
• To argue a point
• To classify
• To compare and/or to contrast
• To show cause and/or to show effect

A Thesis Statement Should:

(1) state the main point of your essay (2) assert an idea about your topic (3) be specific and detailed (4) suggest the organization of your essay and (5) offer an original perspective on the topic.

To Create a Strong and Clear Thesis Statement:

• Take a position on a topic. Move from a general to a specific subject. This will help your paper to be focused.
• Be neither too broad nor too narrow. Your thesis statement needs to be broad enough to develop your main points but not so broad that you have too much information to incorporate into your essay.
• Use specific language. Your thesis statement should be a forceful statement written in confident, firm language. This helps the reader to have a clear idea of what is being discussed in the body of the essay. Avoid vague words such as good, bad, nice, great, interesting and things .

When writing your thesis statement, ask the following: Does it make an assertion about your topic? Does it convey your purpose, opinion or attitude? Is it specific?

Page last updated June 26, 2023.

Composition I - ENGL 1301

• Getting started
• Research plan
• a. Technical rules
• b. Audience
• c. Source types
• d. Writing style
• a. Primary & secondary sources
• b. Scholarly, trade, & popular publications
• c. Scholarly & peer-reviewed journals
• d. Grey literature
• a. Brainstorming
• b. Exploring the internet
• c. Exploring background information
• d. Narrowing/broadening your topic
• a. Evidence
• b. Reading a scholarly article
• c. Notetaking
• d. Evaluating information
• e. Citation style
• a. Article keywords & subject terms
• b. Cited references
• c. Search within publication
• d. Database alerts & RSS feeds
• e. Personal database accounts
• f. Persistent URLs
• a. Introduction
• b. Abstract & executive summary
• c. Thesis statement
• d. Supporting paragraphs
• e. Transitions
• f. Conclusion
• a. Using evidence
• b. Revision process
• c1. In-text citation - APA
• c2. In-text citation - Chicago/CMOS
• c3. In-text citation - MLA
• d. Bias free language
• a. References - APA
• b. Bibliography - Chicago/CMOS
• c. Works Cited - MLA
• Research & writing resources

Chat with a librarian

What is a thesis statement.

A thesis statement is a sentence that directly states the central idea of your written assignment. In essays, a thesis statement is usually included in the introduction. In longer pieces of writing, it may appear further along, but still near the beginning.

A successful thesis has the following characteristics:

• it is  interesting  to the readers
• it is  specific
• it narrows down the scope of the topic to "make it  manageable "

What are some examples of a thesis statement?

Your thesis is generally one of the harder sentences to write, especially for those new to writing research papers.  You want the reader to know with this one statement what your stance on the topic is and what you intend to prove with your research.  Some good examples of a thesis statement would be:

• While cake and pie are both desserts, the structure, ingredients, and ease of transportation sets pie apart from its main competitor.
• An analysis of video game profit margins reveals one challenge facing game developers: the success of AAA games and the popularity of independent titles.
• In the movies  Shaun of the Dead  and  28 Days Later , the opening sequence establishes the tone and theme of the film through non-diegetic sound, methodical pacing, and striking visuals.

I don't know what my thesis is yet!

That's ok! As you develop your essay or research paper, your thesis may change. Revise it to reflect the scope and the central idea of your writing.

Writing evolves in stages; sometimes, you may not know what your thesis will be until you start to write. The concept of a  working thesis  is important here.

What is a working thesis?

A working thesis  should have two parts: a topic part, which states the topic, and a comment part, which makes an important point about the topic. 

• Topic:  Cake and pie are both desserts but are very different
• Comment:  pie is the clear winner because its better structured, has a bigger variety of fillings, and is much easier to take with you
• Topic:  Difference in profit margins: AAA games vs Indie titles
• Comment:  indie titles are growing in popularity and may make the smaller teams more money than what programmers get from AAA titles
• Topic:  There were a lot of zombie movies in the 00s but only a handful really stick out as "noteworthy"
• Comment: Its not just about the tone of the movie, but how they pace it.  The sound and visuals have to be unique but not jarring or hokey.  
• << Previous: b. Abstract & executive summary
• Next: d. Supporting paragraphs >>
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How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement: 4 Steps + Examples

What’s Covered:

What is the purpose of a thesis statement, writing a good thesis statement: 4 steps, common pitfalls to avoid, where to get your essay edited for free.

When you set out to write an essay, there has to be some kind of point to it, right? Otherwise, your essay would just be a big jumble of word salad that makes absolutely no sense. An essay needs a central point that ties into everything else. That main point is called a thesis statement, and it’s the core of any essay or research paper.

You may hear about Master degree candidates writing a thesis, and that is an entire paper–not to be confused with the thesis statement, which is typically one sentence that contains your paper’s focus. 

Read on to learn more about thesis statements and how to write them. We’ve also included some solid examples for you to reference.

Typically the last sentence of your introductory paragraph, the thesis statement serves as the roadmap for your essay. When your reader gets to the thesis statement, they should have a clear outline of your main point, as well as the information you’ll be presenting in order to either prove or support your point. 

The thesis statement should not be confused for a topic sentence , which is the first sentence of every paragraph in your essay. If you need help writing topic sentences, numerous resources are available. Topic sentences should go along with your thesis statement, though.

Since the thesis statement is the most important sentence of your entire essay or paper, it’s imperative that you get this part right. Otherwise, your paper will not have a good flow and will seem disjointed. That’s why it’s vital not to rush through developing one. It’s a methodical process with steps that you need to follow in order to create the best thesis statement possible.

Step 1: Decide what kind of paper you’re writing

When you’re assigned an essay, there are several different types you may get. Argumentative essays are designed to get the reader to agree with you on a topic. Informative or expository essays present information to the reader. Analytical essays offer up a point and then expand on it by analyzing relevant information. Thesis statements can look and sound different based on the type of paper you’re writing. For example:

• Argumentative: The United States needs a viable third political party to decrease bipartisanship, increase options, and help reduce corruption in government.
• Informative: The Libertarian party has thrown off elections before by gaining enough support in states to get on the ballot and by taking away crucial votes from candidates.
• Analytical: An analysis of past presidential elections shows that while third party votes may have been the minority, they did affect the outcome of the elections in 2020, 2016, and beyond.

Step 2: Figure out what point you want to make

Once you know what type of paper you’re writing, you then need to figure out the point you want to make with your thesis statement, and subsequently, your paper. In other words, you need to decide to answer a question about something, such as:

• What impact did reality TV have on American society?
• How has the musical Hamilton affected perception of American history?
• Why do I want to major in [chosen major here]?

If you have an argumentative essay, then you will be writing about an opinion. To make it easier, you may want to choose an opinion that you feel passionate about so that you’re writing about something that interests you. For example, if you have an interest in preserving the environment, you may want to choose a topic that relates to that. 

If you’re writing your college essay and they ask why you want to attend that school, you may want to have a main point and back it up with information, something along the lines of:

“Attending Harvard University would benefit me both academically and professionally, as it would give me a strong knowledge base upon which to build my career, develop my network, and hopefully give me an advantage in my chosen field.”

Step 3: Determine what information you’ll use to back up your point

Once you have the point you want to make, you need to figure out how you plan to back it up throughout the rest of your essay. Without this information, it will be hard to either prove or argue the main point of your thesis statement. If you decide to write about the Hamilton example, you may decide to address any falsehoods that the writer put into the musical, such as:

“The musical Hamilton, while accurate in many ways, leaves out key parts of American history, presents a nationalist view of founding fathers, and downplays the racism of the times.”

Once you’ve written your initial working thesis statement, you’ll then need to get information to back that up. For example, the musical completely leaves out Benjamin Franklin, portrays the founding fathers in a nationalist way that is too complimentary, and shows Hamilton as a staunch abolitionist despite the fact that his family likely did own slaves. 

Step 4: Revise and refine your thesis statement before you start writing

Read through your thesis statement several times before you begin to compose your full essay. You need to make sure the statement is ironclad, since it is the foundation of the entire paper. Edit it or have a peer review it for you to make sure everything makes sense and that you feel like you can truly write a paper on the topic. Once you’ve done that, you can then begin writing your paper.

When writing a thesis statement, there are some common pitfalls you should avoid so that your paper can be as solid as possible. Make sure you always edit the thesis statement before you do anything else. You also want to ensure that the thesis statement is clear and concise. Don’t make your reader hunt for your point. Finally, put your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph and have your introduction flow toward that statement. Your reader will expect to find your statement in its traditional spot.

If you’re having trouble getting started, or need some guidance on your essay, there are tools available that can help you. CollegeVine offers a free peer essay review tool where one of your peers can read through your essay and provide you with valuable feedback. Getting essay feedback from a peer can help you wow your instructor or college admissions officer with an impactful essay that effectively illustrates your point.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Essential College Skills: Organizing a Paper

LESSON Crafting a well-written research paper worthy of an A always starts with the same first step: organizing your thoughts. Before you can begin to worry about page length, grammar, and citing sources, you must develop a strong thesis statement and organize your ideas for supporting paragraphs. Once you have a map of ideas to guide the paper's structure, researching and writing it will be easier.

There is no single correct way to organize a paper, but there are several popular formats that may be useful to you. A useful general approach to organizing is this:

• First, explain to the audience what you're going to tell them.
• Next, tell them.
• Finally, tell them what you just told them.

Let's look at some common essay terminology:

What is a "thesis statement"?

The thesis statement is the main point of your paper. It is concise, usually just one sentence long, and often appears in the introductory paragraph. It sums up your argument and gives the reader a clear picture of what's to come. A paper without a thesis statement lacks focus. Think of your thesis statement as an umbrella; everything you take along the way must fit underneath. The thesis statement may evolve or change as you write the paper.

What is an "introductory paragraph"?

The first paragraph of any paper, or the introduction, is important. It should capture the interest of the reader with an attention-grabbing first sentence. It also contains three to four supporting sentences that build to the thesis and address the body of the essay. The last sentence of the introductory paragraph is often the thesis statement.

What are "body paragraphs"?

Body paragraphs support the claims described in the thesis statement. They make up the bulk of the paper. We will focus on organizing the body paragraphs in the tips below. Each body paragraph has the same basic structure: a main point, supporting points or arguments for the main point, further description or citations, and a summary.

What is a "conclusion paragraph"?

Offer a recap or summary of the thesis and main points in the conclusion paragraph. Use this space to also leave any parting ideas with the reader. If your essay has any wider implications, points to other research, leads to another purpose, or prompts the reader to take action, describe the ideas in the conclusion. Avoid beginning this paragraph with "In conclusion."

ORGANIZING YOUR PAPER

Using an Outline

An outline is the blueprint of your paper and a common organization technique. Traditional outlines use Roman Numerals to note paragraphs, the alphabet to note main points, and numbers to note supporting points. You can include as much or as little detail as you need in your outline. Use it show the relationship between the thesis and the supporting paragraphs, as well as the relationship between the supporting paragraphs. Here is an example of an outline:

Topic: Vaccines

• Importance of vaccines, compared to seat belts and baby gates
• Thesis statement:  Despite rare side effects and public controversy, childhood vaccines prevent the spread of dangerous diseases, which can save lives, time, and money otherwise spent on treatments, and protect future generations.
• Brief history
• Some diseases are preventable
• Information about polio
• No reported cases in America
• Medical professionals and scientists agree vaccines are safe
• Common side effects
• Rare side effects
• Benefits outweigh potential side effects
• Children without immunizations may be denied access to school or daycare
• Hospitalization costs as an example
• Care spent on illness could result in lost wages
• Vaccines are often covered by insurance or are provided at a low cost
• Small pox example
• Polio example
• Vaccines today may eradicate certain diseases in the future.
• Describe public controversy and rebuttal

Source: Website of the National Vaccine Program Office in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Using a Bubble Map

Connect your main and supporting ideas using a bubble map – a great, graphic technique for visual learners. Start with your main idea in one bubble. Brainstorm ideas for supporting points, using additional bubbles, and so on. This technique helps show you how random thoughts may actually connect. Here is an example of a bubble map, using the same information utilized in the previous vaccine example:

Using a Brainstorm Technique

Overcome writer's block by trying the brainstorm technique. Detail all your ideas, both the good and the bad, on paper. Next, review them to whittle or cross off the ideas you don't like. Essentially, you're left with your best ideas. These ideas will serve as your main points. You may want to utilize an outline or bubble map to flesh out your main ideas.  Here is an example of the brainstorm technique, using the same information utilized in the previous vaccine examples:

Still need help organizing your paper? Phone a friend!

Think of your paper as a conversation between you and your reader. Imagine how you'd describe the content to a friend on the phone. How would you start? What ideas would you present to defend your argument? What examples would you describe? These main points are likely the same main ideas you'd use in a paper.

Don't let a page length requirement or looming deadline overwhelm you. Before you write, take time to organize your thoughts by utilizing one of the strategies listed or a combination of the three. You'll find that your time spent researching and writing is more effective and your paper is more focused. The ultimate payoff will result in a good grade. 

Copyright ©2022 The NROC Project

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7: Identifying Thesis Statements, Claims, and Evidence

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Learning Objectives

This chapter teaches you how to identify the elements of argumentative writing: a thesis statement, claims, and evidence.

Thesis Statements, Claims, and Evidence

Introduction.

The three important parts of an argumentative essay are:

• A thesis statement is a sentence, usually in the first paragraph of an article, that expresses the article’s main point. It is not a fact; it’s a statement that you could disagree with. Therefore, the author has to convince you that the statement is correct.
• Claims are statements that support the thesis statement, but like the thesis statement, are not facts. Because a claim is not a fact, it requires supporting evidence.
• Evidence is factual information that shows a claim is true. Usually, writers have to conduct their own research to find evidence that supports their ideas. The evidence may include statistical (numerical) information, the opinions of experts, studies, personal experience, scholarly articles, or reports.

Each paragraph in the article is numbered at the beginning of the first sentence.

Paragraphs 1-7

Identifying the Thesis Statement. Paragraph 2 ends with this thesis statement: “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.” It is a thesis statement for three reasons:

• It is the article’s main argument.
• It is not a fact. Someone could think that peoples’ prior convictions should affect their access to higher education.
• It requires evidence to show that it is true.

Finding Claims. A claim is statement that supports a thesis statement. Like a thesis, it is not a fact so it needs to be supported by evidence.

You have already identified the article’s thesis statement: “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.”

Like the thesis, a claim be an idea that the author believes to be true, but others may not agree. For this reason, a claim needs support.

• Question 1. Can you find a claim in paragraph 3? Look for a statement that might be true, but needs to be supported by evidence.

Finding Evidence.

Paragraphs 5-7 offer one type of evidence to support the claim you identified in the last question. Reread paragraphs 5-7.

• Question 2. Which word best describes the kind of evidence included in those paragraphs: A report, a study, personal experience of the author, statistics, or the opinion of an expert?

Paragraphs 8-10

Finding Claims

Paragraph 8 makes two claims:

• “The United States needs to have more of this transformative power of education.”
• “The country [the United States] incarcerates more people and at a higher rate than any other nation in the world.”

Finding Evidence

Paragraphs 8 and 9 include these statistics as evidence:

• “The U.S. accounts for less than 5 percent of the world population but nearly 25 percent of the incarcerated population around the globe.”
• “Roughly 2.2 million people in the United States are essentially locked away in cages. About 1 in 5 of those people are locked up for drug offenses.”

Question 3. Does this evidence support claim 1 from paragraph 8 (about the transformative power of education) or claim 2 (about the U.S.’s high incarceration rate)?

Question 4. Which word best describes this kind of evidence: A report, a study, personal experience of the author, statistics, or the opinion of an expert?

Paragraphs 11-13

Remember that in paragraph 2, Andrisse writes that:

• “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.” (Thesis statement)
• “More must be done to remove the various barriers that exist between formerly incarcerated individuals such as myself and higher education.” (Claim)

Now, review paragraphs 11-13 (Early life of crime). In these paragraphs, Andrisse shares more of his personal story.

Question 5. Do you think his personal story is evidence for statement 1 above, statement 2, both, or neither one?

Question 6. Is yes, which one(s)?

Question 7. Do you think his personal story is good evidence? Does it persuade you to agree with him?

Paragraphs 14-16

Listed below are some claims that Andrisse makes in paragraph 14. Below each claim, please write the supporting evidence from paragraphs 15 and 16. If you can’t find any evidence, write “none.”

Claim: The more education a person has, the higher their income.

Claim: Similarly, the more education a person has, the less likely they are to return to prison.

Paragraphs 17-19

Evaluating Evidence

In these paragraphs, Andrisse returns to his personal story. He explains how his father’s illness inspired him to become a doctor and shares that he was accepted to only one of six biomedical graduate programs.

Do you think that this part of Andrisse’s story serves as evidence (support) for any claims that you’ve identified so far? Or does it support his general thesis that “people’s prior convictions should not be held against them in pursuit of higher learning?” Please explain your answer.

Paragraphs 20-23

Andrisse uses his personal experience to repeat a claim he makes in paragraph 3, that “more must be done to remove the various barriers that exist between formerly incarcerated individuals such as myself and higher education.”

To support this statement, he has to show that barriers exist. One barrier he identifies is the cost of college. He then explains the advantages of offering Pell grants to incarcerated people.

What evidence in paragraphs 21-23 support his claim about the success of Pell grants?

Paragraphs 24-28 (Remove questions about drug crimes from federal aid forms)

In this section, Andrisse argues that federal aid forms should not ask students about prior drug convictions. To support that claim, he includes a statistic about students who had to answer a similar question on their college application.

What statistic does he include?

In paragraph 25, he assumes that if a question about drug convictions discourages students from applying to college, it will probably also discourage them from applying for federal aid.

What do you think about this assumption? Do you think it’s reasonable or do you think Andrisse needs stronger evidence to show that federal aid forms should not ask students about prior drug convictions?